When you hear the word change do you immediately tense up or feel excited? Most likely it depends on the context in which the word is used. But the one thing in life that is constant is change. Have you ever waffled back and forth with a decision? What did you rely on to help you decide? Let’s take a look at how to know when it’s time for a change.
I have been a Licensed Mental Health Counselor since 1997. I do not currently practice as I work in school counseling but I’ll never let my license expire. My Monday posts have a little more of a mental health theme designed to help you think a little differently. While I am certainly not dispensing advice or treatment, I do hope these posts help you. Initially I started blogging as a creative outlet and as a way to empower women in midlife and beyond to dress and feel like the best version of themselves everyday. I have come to realize that a big part of that is how we feel about life circumstances. Hence the reason for these posts!
How to Know
Sometimes it’s a big change like employment, relationships, moving, health, etc. that has you stumped. Other times it seems like the smallest change paralyzes you with fear or causes anxiety. While it may be hard to say specifically when you’ll know it’s time for a change, a good indicator is when you start to feel a nudge or pull in that direction. I’m a big believer in intuition and listening to your gut.
It’s Okay to Ask for Advice
If you’re contemplating a change it’s okay to ask for advice. Asking does not necessarily mean taking it. Don’t give away your personal power by allowing someone else to make decisions in your life. Your ability to make decisions for yourself is like any other muscle and if you don’t use it, you will in fact lose it. Giving your decision making power over to someone else eventually leads to resentment and low self esteem – be careful!
What Happens When You Refuse to Change
Let your past predict your future in some cases. What happened the last time you made a change? Were you pleasantly surprised? Do you wish you’d done things differently? Let those past lessons help you moving forward.
When you flat out refuse to change you will not grow. You’ll miss out on learning and feel stuck. You may not realize this but others will – people who are stuck and refuse to change can appear grumpy, unhappy, and negative. I believe this stems from fear. Fear of change may come from feelings of inadequacy (what if I fail?), abandonment (what if I lose friends?), or unworthiness. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Confronting your fear will help! Start small by challenging some of your limiting beliefs. If you have past trauma that affects your ability to handle change then by all means, speak to a professional mental health provider. It can be incredibly gratifying to overcome fear and take power back.
Go For It
Only you can decide if you are really ready for a change. I believe that when you feel peace with it, you’ll know the time is right. If you are contemplating a change – especially if it’s one that comes up often – I hope you’ll go for it. Each and every one of us deserves to live a happy and fulfilled life but we cannot be passive bystanders, we need to make it happen. That usually begins with the decision to make a change!
To end things today I leave you with a favorite song of mine. Enjoy!
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