Practice Kindness

Today marks the 6th anniversary of my dad leaving this world. I still miss him every single day, wish I could hear his voice, and think of how much he’d enjoy seeing our family and all the things we’ve been up to. I’m thankful that I no longer cry at unexpected times and I can look back at fun times and smile. I recognize the gift we were given when my dad was put on hospice. The months we had we KNEW were a gift so I made the absolute most of every moment. I have always known that in so many ways I am like my dad but when it comes to having empathy for others and showing simple acts of kindness, there is no doubt where that came from. I thought in honor of this day, I’d share how I practice kindness, generally when no one is looking and I promise in ways you’re not likely to see on a list published on Pinterest.

My dad never gave us lectures on how to behave or practice kindness, it was more in the way he behaved and the comments he made. From an early age I can remember him bringing drinks out to the garbage men. He’d bring something cold out to them and chat a few minutes. At the time, I didn’t think “oh wow, my dad is being kind” I just remember him talking about how hot they must be and what a hard job they had. It was just those kinds of things that left an impression on me I suppose. We did not grow up wealthy, in fact, I went to a nice high school in an affluent are BUT I was bussed in and was definitely not from the right side of the tracks. Some people let me know that but I they were wasting their time because I already knew.

Impactful Acts of Kindness

The cool thing about being a kind person is that you don’t really know it, it’s who you are. There’s no need to call attention to yourself, you just act naturally and you make a difference. People notice and hopefully it either adds a little joy to their day and/or they pay it forward.

I realize that over the years, I’ve practice impactful acts of kindness that have no doubt made a difference. Please know, I am not sharing these things to toot my own horn or to garner comments about what a wonderful person I am – frankly, I am quite humble and don’t enjoy the attention BUT if this sparks something in someone else than it’s worth it.

The first time I can remember being called out for kindness was at my pre-k graduation – at the time it was called Kiddie Corps and in my very rural town in northern NJ it was a program in its infancy. We met on Saturdays and I loved it. At the end of the term, I have no idea how long that was, we had a graduation. I remember they called our names one by one, we went up to the podium and received a certificate and a lollipop. I said “thank you” and returned to my seat when it was my turn. During the closing remarks the speaker ended by saying that out of 50 or so children that day, only one said “thank you” and that was Kellyann O’Donnell. FYI that’s my maiden name. I was shocked to hear my name and of course my mother was very proud. I was 4 at the time.

In college I can remember attending a function and hearing that we should all practice random acts of kindness. They gave us the example of paying the highway toll for the person behind us (back when we had toll booths). I did that a few times. Nowadays I know people will pay for someone’s coffee order or something of that nature. It’s a nice idea, but I have a better idea. If you have a few extra bucks – $5 or $10 drop it off at an elementary school and ask them to either pay for someone’s lunch, or pay towards a school field trip. Trust me, they need it there more than the person who was already planning to pay for their coffee.

Let’s fast forward to adulthood. I know there were many times as a kid and teenager I practiced kindness. There were probably lots of times I didn’t- no one is perfect after all, we all do our best I believe.

After the earthquake in Haiti (2010?) many relocated to FL. I had been shopping at Macy’s one night when I came upon a family (non-English speaking) trying to take the escalator down to the next floor. The little girl wouldn’t budge, I could tell she was afraid. Although we did not speak the same language, I understood that the frustration was rising and they were stuck. I interrupted by just leaning down and smiling at the little girl and saying, “Grab my hand and I’ll help you, it’s actually fun!” She did not understand what I was saying but she understood by my kind demeanor that I was trying to help – so did her family. She grabbed my hand and off we went! The rest of the family was behind us. When we stepped off she smiled, so proud of herself! I gave her a high five and went about my business.

In the summer of 2016 when my older son and I attended his college orientation in Gainesville for a few days. We had stopped by a store in an older shopping plaza and as we made our way back to our car, a young woman appeared. She asked if there was anyway I could buy her some gas at a nearby gas station (across the street). She pointed to an old SUV and asked me to follow her there. I said I would and as I did a young man stepped about from behind the SUV. He nodded at me and they got in their SUV and my son and I got in my car (minivan).I know what you’re thinking, I do. Trust me, the minute we closed the doors my son let me have it! He said it was dumb, we were going to get killed, etc.. Anyway, we followed them to the gas station and I jumped out of my minivan and went in and prepaid for gas for the pump they were at. Then I told them how much I paid – $25 and let them gas up. We left unscathed. I told my son that we did the right thing helping someone who needed help. I don’t know their circumstances but I know mine. I would never get in the car of someone and I would never put someone in my car but following someone in a well lit, busy area seemed okay to me. This was an act of kindness that I hope helped them and if nothing else let them know that someone cared and didn’t judge.

A few years later, tragedy struck around the corner from my house. There was a domestic violence incident that left a mother dead, a father arrested, and two children without parents. As you can imagine there was a heavy police presence and news media as well. Just up the street the crime scene tape kept onlookers at bay. This went on for hours and I noticed that one group was still there – clearly they were friends and family not just looky loos. My son was home from college at the time – although I cannot remember why. Anyway, I had him go the store with me and buy some snacks and drinks for them. He was VERY uncomfortable when I asked him to walk up the street with me and bring these things. We started walking up, grocery bags in hand. They immediately turned towards us with fire in their eyes and an extremely defensive air about them – really, they looked ready to pounce! They must have thought I was going to ask them to leave, stay out off the neighbors grass, move their cars, whatever. Even a news reporter and camera man emerged from their van ready to film. As we got closer, I just said something to the effect that I was so very sorry for what they were dealing with and that we had some snacks and drinks for them. I also pointed out my house and told them if they needed to use the restroom they were welcome to knock on my door. They were so grateful and taken by surprise. The news reporter approached me and said, “ma’am that was incredibly kind.” I just smiled and said I just wanted them to be cared for.

It’s these kinds of things that make a difference for people. When they are at their worst why can’t we be at our best? We don’t need a cause and we don’t need to be recognized for these acts. Your true character is what you do when no one is watching. It’s how you behave when no one asks you to.

I’m certainly not suggesting you ever put yourself in danger but I bet there is a way you can shower kindness on someone else. Even if it’s the cashier or clerk at a store. I always ask how they’re doing and always leave by saying, “I hope you have the very best day!” I also try to look them in the eye when I say it.

I appreciate YOU being here and you know what? I wish YOU the very best day too! Tell me in the comments below your favorite ways to practice kindness!

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Practice Kindness