Time for another Monday edition of the blog! I like to dedicate Mondays to mental health and self improvement themes. If you know me in real life, you know I am optimistic and positive – I can also be sarcastic and funny. More than anything though, I search out the good; the happy aspects, and focus on the positive. I believe if anything can go right it will and I never give up hope. That doesn’t mean that I have not faced adversity, sadness, and great heartbreak. I have friends and family who have as well. One of the questions I often face is how can you feel joy and sorrow at the same time? Is this even possible?
I have been a Licensed Mental Health Counselor since 1997. I do not currently practice as I work in school counseling but I’ll never let my license expire. My Monday posts have a little more of a mental health theme designed to help you think a little differently. While I am certainly not dispensing advice or treatment, I do hope these posts help you. Initially I started blogging as a creative outlet and as a way to empower women in midlife and beyond to dress and feel like the best version of themselves everyday. I have come to realize that a big part of that is how we feel about life circumstances. Hence the reason for these posts!
Can You Feel Joy & Sorrow at the Same Time
One of the reasons I am writing this today is because I have someone in my life that I am trying to help get past some tough times. For every complaint she has I come back with a positive. I’ve even told her to feel free to tell me when she gets sick of me doing that but she has not. As much as I want to be a good and supportive friend, I will not sit by silently and allow someone to drown in their own sorrow.
On Friday mornings I am part of a moms group at my church. Sometimes my work gets in the way but when I can I attend. It’s always uplifting and I am blessed with a great group of Christian women who will pray for and support me. Last Friday we had a guest speaker – our former pastor! He retired from our church after many years of faithful service. The topic of his chat with us was this very subject! I swear it was like manna from heaven!
One of the things he shared was that joy doesn’t erase sorrow. Bad things happen. Terrible and tragic things happen. But you can see the joy through the sorrow – it gives us hope and allows us to continue. I’ll add that we have to open our eyes to joy and acknowledge it, just as we do sorrow and sadness.
Here’s How To Do It
Our former Pastor shared some devastating things that are happening in his very own family right now. Yet there he sat, smiling, comfortable, and calm. I’m certain that he and his family shed many, many tears over what has been happening, I know I would. But he said that one of the things that has helped was having someone to unload it all to – someone he could sit and talk with and get it all out. He certainly didn’t need an answer or a fix; he needed to acknowledge and share.
I realized in listening to him that that is what helps me. I’ve never been one to suffer in silence, I share. I talk it through. I allow people to pray for me. Not everyone feels comfortable doing this and I understand that as well. There are a lot of reasons why someone would choose to keep their struggles private. But what I hope and pray for everyone is that they would have at least one person to confide in; to share with.
Feeling joy and sorrow at the same time is possible. In the depths of your hurt and pain I hope you acknowledge some joy. It could be the wonder of the beautiful world we live in, it could be joy that comes from feeling loved and cared for. It could be noticing the blessings you have in your everyday life – the times you feel true joy.
It’s Gonna Take Some Work
If you are not a naturally optimistic person it’s gonna take some work. I understand this too but if I could tell you one thing, in fact PROMISE you one thing, if you do the work you will reap the rewards. The 6 months or so my dad was on hospice were tough. But after several days of crying and feeling so low at what my family was facing I realized that I was grieving my dad and not enjoying the time we had. So I promised myself that each day I would find a way to celebrate him and life in general. It helped that my father was also at peace. He only wanted to be with his family. He never asked why or how this could happen to him. He laughed, joked, had fun and honestly made everyone around him feel amazing. But that’s kind of what he always did. When someone would come to visit, and something like, “see you later” would be said, he’d always chuckle and say, “or maybe not”! I almost missed the gift we had been given – not everyone knows when they are dying and we had been given a blessing. We had been given the gift of time and the ability to appreciate it. I could do nothing but thank God for the gift and not squander it.
I want to end this by saying that I know there are some very tragic circumstances people face and I am not trying to negate or make light of those. But I also urge and encourage you to know that as long as you are breathing you can find joy and feel it. The quality of your life depends on your thoughts and I believe if we look for and think about finding joy – even in the tough times – we will find it and it will help us through.
Thanks so much for stopping by today, I appreciate you being here. Please consider signing up to receive my posts by email and following me on Instagram and Pinterest.
- Can You Feel Joy & Sorrow at the Same Time?
- Final Four Friday Favorites
- March Closet Additions
- Overwhelmed? Try the Eisenhower Matrix
- Friday Favorites: Amazon Spring Sale
