Back again with another motivational/mental healthish post. Continuing along on our journey to Level Up our style and our lives, the question must be asked: Are you enjoying it? Because, you see, gratitude determines enjoyment. Enjoyment leads to continuing on the journey and that leads to more change, but if you’re not happy? It’s a no-go.
Let me also share that the gratitude of others for your effort can go a long way! When you feel appreciated, acknowledged, seen, it’s more likely you will continue the behavior. This concept applies more to lifestyle changes than fashion perhaps but I think what reinforces behavior is the same: acknowledgment.
Maybe you have tried to elevate your style a bit – did someone notice? Did you get a sincere accomplishment? How did you feel? Like I said last week, yours is the only opinion that matters BUT we live in a society and as such we interact with others. Their perceptions and opinions can make a difference.
What I hope for you is that you’ll know which voices to pay attention to and which to tune out. On social media there is no shortage of opinions. Some are harsh, some are way too kind, and some are just downright dishonest. Frankly, these opinions mean so little to me. I recognize that hurt people do in fact hurt people. I also recognize keyboard courage. I’d love to have a face to face conversation with someone who leaves a negative comment. Not to fight or argue but to get a sense of what their experience is and who they are.
One of the perks of being a small account is that I get very few trolls. I got this comment last week on a reel where I was showing a green sweater dress. For reference the only question I asked was How good are these colors together? I thanked the person for being here and moved on. I’m not going to let one negative comment bother me especially when she didn’t bother to back it up with anything. That’s not constructive criticism, it’s just criticism. And no, I did not black her name out, why should I? She didn’t comment anonymously and you could visit my IG reel anytime and see it for yourself.
I share this because when you start taking fashion risks, there’s bound to be someone who says something that you take to heart. It may hurt your feelings or cause you to doubt yourself. Don’t let it. Keep doing what you want to do.
I’ll be honest, over the last few years I have made a conscious effort to level up my style and there are times when someone picks something out for me that is reminiscent of my old style. I cringe because I feel like gosh, I have come so far! But I know it takes time for others to get used to the change so I thank them and move on.
So, what challenges are you facing? Is your desire to change making someone else uncomfortable? Remember you cannot MAKE anyone feel a certain way, that is their choice but they’ll try to pin it on you anyway! For some guilt isn’t a trip it’s a never ending journey. Refuse to accompany them.
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I have been a Licensed Mental Health Counselor since 1997. I do not currently practice as I work in school counseling but I’ll never let my license expire. My Monday posts have a little more of a mental health theme designed to help you think a little differently. While I am certainly not dispensing advice or treatment, I do hope these posts help you. Initially I started blogging as a creative outlet and as a way to empower women in midlife and beyond to dress and feel like the best version of themselves everyday. I have come to realize that a big part of that is how we feel about life circumstances. Hence the reason for these posts!
