You don’t need the start of a new year to change the trajectory of your life but it seems a good time to take stock in what’s working and what’s not. Many make changes in their eating and fitness routines. Some decide it’s time to get serious about paying off debt and saving money. Some will do a relationship overhaul. No matter what you are focusing on, it’s never too late to change your ways.
Because we tend to overindulge during the holidays, January is a month of limiting things – spending, eating, etc. Over the last few years I’ve noticed how drained I felt emotionally. Sleepless nights because my mind wouldn’t stop spinning over what someone said or didn’t say left me feeling empty and unsatisfied. December of 2023 was particularly tough for me and I had initially told my husband I was limiting our family holiday celebrations.
I spent 2024 focusing on protecting my peace. Over the year what that looked like changed quite a bit and I came to some realizations. Long story short, what I have said in this space over and over again remains true – we cannot change others, we can only change ourselves.
Listen, I may be a licensed mental health counselor (for 27 years!) and a certified school counselor but my life is far from perfect. Relationships are tricky and some are tougher than others. Not everyone that you don’t see eye to eye with can be avoided.
Here’s what I want you to know: you CAN live a happier, more peaceful life. But most likely it will because you make the decision to change yourself not because the people around you will change. I know, it doesn’t seem fair. Especially when they’re the ones with problem, right? We can only be responsible for ourselves so stop waiting for them to change and decide you will change your ways.
Change how you respond or react. Decide that no matter what you will not respond the way you usually do – you will see a difference. The more you practice this the easier it becomes. For example, I decided to change my ways when it comes to inviting people to do things.
Think you can’t change? Can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Well, think again! The biggest challenge to learning a new way of thinking or acting is wanting to. It’s in the motivation. It’s in the reason why. Think about this: what if you knew that waking up 30 minutes earlier every day would result in you making an extra $1,000.00 each week, would you do it? I bet you would. It’s easy and the pay off (pun intended) would be great.
So take stock in your life, your relationships. What would you like to be different? Are you waiting for someone else to make the move or change? Stop. Just stop. Change your ways. It’s the one thing you can control and will do wonders for your self esteem and your peace.
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