Welcome back to another Monday blog post! To all of my friends here in the US, Happy Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! Following up on what I started last week, I thought this week I could challenge you to do just one thing to change your story/ I had been thinking about what I’d write all last week and had some thoughts brewing. Then lo and behold, at church on Sunday our pastor shared a story and I knew exactly what I needed to do!
I have been a Licensed Mental Health Counselor since 1997. I do not currently practice as I work in school counseling but I’ll never let my license expire. My Monday posts have a little more of a mental health theme designed to help you think a little differently. While I am certainly not dispensing advice or treatment, I do hope these posts help you. Initially I started blogging as a creative outlet and as a way to empower women in midlife and beyond to dress and feel like the best version of themselves everyday. I have come to realize that a big part of that is how we feel about life circumstances. Hence the reason for these posts!
Change Your Story
Have you ever considered how you could change your story? You know, how people see you or how you see yourself? If you could make this one change, would it affect the trajectory of your life? Could you be happier? Free?
On Sunday, our pastor shared a story about how he was named after his father’s best friend. Apparently the father’s best friend drowned. Interestingly enough as our pastor grew up he had issues around water and nearly drowned on several occasions. So imagine the story. Here he was named after someone who drowned and he had trouble with water too. That was his story. That’s how the family talked about him and how thought of himself. Until he decided to change his story.
One day he announced to his family that he was getting a job as a lifeguard. They were shocked and thought he was kidding. He simply told them he was changing his story and would no longer be afraid of water or drowning.
This made me think of a similar situation in my own life. I too am not a good swimmer and failed swimming lessons on multiple occasions as a child. Growing up in FL it was very hard to be a non-swimmer. I faked it most of the time – or at least I thought so. How my parents allowed me to go to pool parties and on beach trips as a child makes me wonder. I suppose they knew my fear was so great that I would be okay? But they never shared with my friends parents that I couldn’t swim.
In any case, I finally got to the point where I could sort of swim above the water. I could float. The only time I went underwater was if I could hold my nose. Or wear a face mask. Needless to say this was very limiting for me. I also made sure both of my sons could swim – I never wanted them to feel like I did.
When I was turning 40 I decided to challenge myself. So I signed up to run a half marathon (13.1 miles) and do a Sprint Triathlon (1/4 mile swim, 13 miles bike ride, and run a 5K). The problem was that I couldn’t swim. If you have ever tried to swim 1/4 mile in fresh water you know that it is very hard if you swim above water. I was also scared.
Training for both of these events took months. The half marathon was first and honestly not that bad. I became a runner and enjoyed it. Training for the sprint triathlon was more daunting. Especially since I was doing it with a group of friends who could all swim!
Long story short I decided to try and overcome my fear. I started swimming in the pool at my gym but mostly swam above water. This made me slow but I got stronger and swam faster. I had my husband help me learn to swim with my head underwater in our backyard pool. I felt like I could do it as long as I wore goggles. The group of friends I was doing the triathlon with went to a lake one morning to train. I went too but couldn’t make it. I panicked in the fresh water – it was darker and colder than the pool water. I couldn’t touch the bottom – it freaked me out. I felt awful!
But I didn’t give up. There was NO WAY I was backing out. I would not be the only one who couldn’t finish the triathlon. So I changed my story. I decided to become a swimmer. I continued training and telling myself I could do it and I DID! I finished the triathlon and I was not last! I may have been a slower swimmer but I did it and let me tell you, when I emerged from the water I felt like I had won a gold medal. Seriously.
This is something I think of often. When I hear people say they can’t do things for one reason or another I think that’s silly. The truth is that IF YOU WANT TO YOU WILL. Maybe the thing you keep saying you ‘wish you could do’ isn’t really what you want to do after all. Assess things clearly and if it’s a matter of you not wanting to do the actual work it takes to do the thing then STOP saying you want to do it. Let it go. You are better than that.
If you have a goal you want to accomplish then do it. If you have a limiting belief change it. Do this one thing: CHANGE YOUR STORY. Stop being the girl who can’t swim, the girl who is afraid of change, the girl who loves food and will never lose the weight, etc. Sometimes we have to take a very bold step – like signing up to do a triathlon if we can’t swim – to change our story and unleash our potential.
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